I’m going to review Wanted

Really? No, not really. I’ll give my impressions in handy numbered form. My ability to write a coherent series of paragraphs slides further into a twitter-addled slump.

1) No doubt about it, that Russian dude can direct a decent action scene.
2) Somebody in this movie yells “SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAN” which is a fairly rare, but appreciated occurrence, for me.
4) Probably the best train-based fight scene since The Hunted. Or maybe that’s just me.
5) Yet another victim of early trailers and marketing making the movie out to be way more stupid than it actually is. You’d think with our modern trailer-wizards out there that can make utter shit look like gold, they couldn’t screw up something like this.
6) That said, it’s still kinda stupid, but that’s forgiven by 1)
7) Actually come to think of it, when the new trailer for the The Game-esque Eagle Eye came up before the feature, I actually closed my eyes once it got past the stuff shown in the teaser earlier. On the off chance that it’s actually a good movie, I am confident that the trailer would ruin it by giving away too much. Just that kind of movie, you know? I really hate when that happens, but at least it saved me the money I could have spent watching Cellular.

In conclusion, if you want to go see a movie that’s in theaters right now, see Wall•E again.

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